What’s the best way to connect with others?
By exuding an attractive attitude. Doing that starts with attitude awareness.
How attractive are you, attitudinally speaking? Does your attitude tend to attract or repel others?
Alas, while farting emits an unpleasant fragrance, passed gas is far less potent than the ultimate people-repellent: selfishness.
While everyone is selfish to a degree, being selfless is the least selfish a person can be. On the spectrum of selfishness, where do you fall?
Unfortunately, because it’s in our nature, people are prone to problematic proclivities, such as pride, self-centeredness, and insensitivity. Without taking calculated countermeasures, we arrogantly and obnoxiously exhibit narcissism in a repulsively egotistical way. While acting out such attributes is atrocious, don’t be dismayed: they can be contained as well as overcome.
Having an attractive attitude requires acquiring attractive traits.
Who do you admire?
Think about someone you really admire. Which of their traits are you attracted to?
Are they honest, humble, hopeful, humorous, authentic, accepting. Thankfully, attractive traits can be learned, developed, and—with practice—applied by anyone, anywhere.
While this list only begins to scratch the surface, some of these traits are: being honest, humble, hopeful, humorous, compassionate, empathetic, generous, grateful, forgiving, flexible, teachable, trustworthy, patient, persistent, reliable, resilient, authentic, accepting, appreciative, and attentive. Again, these traits can be learned, developed, and—with practice—applied by anyone, anywhere.
Much like the individual petals of a sweet-smelling rose, many traits tend to overlap. For example, one who is honest also tends to be trustworthy. Each trait, however, originates from a deep-seated belief. Therefore, the best way to acquire attractive traits is to adopt attractive—that is, love-based beliefs.
So without further ado, I submit to you, in no particular order: The Top 10 Love-Based Beliefs
1. PEOPLE ARE WORTH PURSUING
Remember: Connections multiply merriment and divide despair. So don’t wait for others to initiate! There are few better ways to show you care than by reaching out and establishing a connection.
2. I CAN LEARN SOMETHING FROM EVERYONE
When you come from a place of humility and openness, you recognize that everyone has something to offer . . . even if what they’re offering means learning what not to do.
3. I AM NOT WORTH MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE, NOR IS ANYONE ELSE Worth MORE THAN ME
When you firmly believe this, treating everyone (including yourself) with honor, dignity, and respect is a natural byproduct. No one is superior or inferior to others. Regardless of religion, race, gender, political affiliation, occupation, or financial status, you are able to see that each person’s worth is intrinsically infinite and unconditionally unsurpassable… and you are then able to act accordingly.
4. I DESIRE TO DO UNTO OTHERS AS THEY WOULD WANT DONE UNTO THEM
Thoughts like this understand and acknowledge that while laughter is one of life’s greatest gifts, it should never be obtained at someone else’s expense.
It’s called the Platinum Rule for a reason!
5. HONESTY AND AUTHENTICITY ARE ALWAYS BEST PRACTICES
Integrity and trust can't thrive without honesty and authenticity as the foundation. Being honest empowers you to be yourself.
6. SHORT-TERM SACRIFICES ARE WELL WORTH LONG-TERM REWARDS
When you are able to accept delays and let go of the need for instant gratification, be prepared for a boost in resilience and persistence! Both of those traits have the potential to pay off handsomely in the future, as well as reduce stress and unrealistic expectations in the present.
7. I RESOLVE TO RECONCILE WHENEVER POSSIBLE
Be willing to admit when you’re wrong and seek forgiveness. At the same time, when roles are reversed, recognize that no one is perfect. Everyone has bad days, and sometimes things are said or done in haste without thinking about the impact. Be open to reconciliation. If however, the offense involves abuse, seek help immediately.
8. I WILL AVOID UNATTRACTIVE CHARACTER TRAITS AT ALL COSTS
Unattractive personality traits are not worth your time. For example: envy, entitlement, resentment, unforgiveness, gossip, pride, arrogance, and deceit are dangerous and deadly—they are pure poison personified. Don’t give any one of them the time of day (except to call it out if you notice it in yourself or someone else.
9. EACH NEW DAY HAS SOMETHING NEW TO BE GRATEFUL FOR
As mentioned in a previous video, gratitude is the most attractive trait anyone can have. So Appreciate what has been given, thankfully receive what is to come, and embrace each moment.
10. [Fill in the blank]
What are some other beliefs that I didn't mention that lead to attractive traits? After you’ve given it some thought, please share it in the comments below. I know you have tons of value to add, and I'd love to hear from you!
-Jeff Teresi
NOTE: This is an excerpt from The 7 Key Abilities (Chapter 12).