I’m going to reveal the two ways you can deal with something we all experience: rejection, and what you can do to avoid it having a negative impact on you. It’s time to give rejection a piece of it’s own medicine, and reject it.
Having grown up with abandonment issues, as well as having 20 years of sales experience, as well as being hung up on for 4 years straight as a telemarketer, I've found there are 2 ways to deal with rejection:
1) You can get BITTER, or
2) You can get BETTER!
In other words, you can let it hold you back, or you can allow it to propel you forward. And it's completely up to you. So don’t get bitter, get better!
The mistake most people make is they take it personally.
At its core, when you feel rejected, you feel unaccepted or not worthy, and that’s a horrible way to feel. But when you remove yourself from the equation, you recognize that the other person is saying no for a reason that has more to do with them than it has to do with you.
In sales, perhaps they can’t afford it, or perhaps they just want to see all the other options first, or perhaps you haven’t connected with them enough to show you have their best interests in mind. If they're open to it, you can ask questions and begin to understand where they are coming from.
NOTE: In the dating world, if someone says no, just leave it at that. (insert all women nodding)
Whether we’re talking your personal life or your professional life, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. Taking rejection personally is a sure fire way to respond with bitterness.
Here’s a fun fact: one of the first things I learned in sales training is, on average, guess how many times a person will tell you no before they say yes?
5.
So don’t take it personally, recognize it’s a numbers game, and if you can, make a game out of it. I used to get excited when I’d hear the first no in the sales process, because I knew I was that much closer to hearing a yes.
And here’s the beauty of it all…once you get past those initial rejections, overtime, as you gradually get better at handling objections before they arise, and you’re able to show the other person you do in fact have their best interest in mind, you’re going to hear NO less and less, and begin hearing YES more and more.
The key is to be pleasantly persistent. Don't be pushy.
Never make another person feel pressured to say yes.
If you've done all you can to show that you have the other person's best interest in mind and they're still not interested, respect their decision and thank them for their time.
You don't need thick skin to deal with rejection. It just requires an understanding of your own self-worth, which is infinite and unsurpassable, and has nothing to do with what other people think about you.
So next time you feel rejected, rather than getting bitter, get better. Rather than letting it hold you back, allow it to propel you forward. If you do, you will break through to your next big breakthrough!
And if you've recently experienced some rejection, and you're finding it hard to NOT take it personally, remember: you're not alone, you are loved, and whatever you do, believe in yourself.
With Gratitude,
Jeff Teresi
