You suck at feelings!
How did reading that make you feel?
I’ve told myself that so many times in my life, that I suck at feelings, and maybe you have too. But we don’t have to. You can FEEL Better. No one has to suck at feelings.
How do you feel about feelings? Are you aware of how often they direct your decisions? Most people aren't. And yet, feelings direct your decisions…almost always.
Because of this, today I'm going to show you how to test for triggers and filter your feelings. By doing so, I want you to feel EMPOWERED. I have found there are 6 main trigger feelings that need to be filtered most frequently, and that everyone would benefit from being aware of.
Quick question: do you believe there are negative emotions?
Here's what I've learned. No emotion is negative in and of itself. It's what you do with that emotion that makes it positive or negative.
When you feel hungry or hurt…lonely or tired…angry or afraid…it's going to affect you, and most likely negatively…unless you recognize those emotions and act accordingly.
Feelings are meant to be felt. You can try to hide, but eventually, those feelings will find you. Feelings can be your worst enemy, if you don't allow them to be your best friend. Here's what we need to understand: They're not trying to hurt you, they're trying to alert you. Much like an alarm going off in a nuclear power plant, it's trying to tell you "something is wrong." And if you ignore that alarm, the entire place might experience a complete melt down.
Perhaps you're tired and need more sleep. Perhaps you're hungry and need to eat. These feelings are trying to tell you something. The question is: Are you listening?
This is not to say that feelings should be your one and only guide, because many feelings are fleeting and some are meant to simply serve as warning signs. However, it always helps to see where they are coming from. Because then you can actually DO something about it.
Whether you're aware of it or not, each decision you make matters. So if you'd like to make the best decisions possible, it's important to be aware of 6 of the most common emotions that might lead you to making poor decisions if they aren't acknowledged and dealt with.
And to make it easy to filter those 6 feelings, I've created an acronym: FILTER.
F stands for fearful. Are you feeling anxious or worried about something?
I stands for injured. Are you feeling hurt or in pain (be it physically OR emotionally)?
L stands for lonely. Are you feeling isolated or alone?
T stands for tired. Are you feeling sleep-deprived?
E stands for exasperated (which means intensely angry). Are you feeling irritated or upset about something?
R stands for ravenous (which means extremely hungry). Are you feeling low on energy?
These are all calls to action!
If I'm feeling fearful, I ask myself, "What am I afraid of? Is it worth worrying about? What can I do about it?"
If I'm feeling injured or hurt, I ask, "What will help me to heal?
If I'm feeling lonely, "Whom can I reach out to?"
If I'm feeling tired, "How can I get more sleep?" What can I do to feel more awake?"
If I'm feeling exasperated or upset, "What exactly am I angry about?"
If I'm feeling ravenous or hungry, I ask myself, "When's the last time I ate? What's something healthy I can eat? (Try for something delicious AND nutritious.)
Side note, if you'd prefer, you can substitute the E and the R with Envy and Regret, as those are also trigger feelings we want to keep an eye out for.
CHALLENGE of the Week
I want you to write FILTER on a piece of paper and put it in your pocket this week. Anytime you have a major decision to make, pull out the sheet of paper and use it as a quick checklist.
Am I feeling fearful? No? Check.
And I feeling injured, oh my back hurts? Is this affecting this specific decision in anyway, no? Check.
Am I feeling lonely? Nope. Check.
And quickly go through the list. You may find you are in fact hungry at that moment and it would benefit you to eat something before making that decision.
Here's the key: The better you become at filtering your feelings, the better you'll be at making decisions.
If you feel I missed some feelings that should have been mentioned, feel free to comment below. I'd love to hear from you!
Stay tuned next week when I'll be showing you How to Get Rich Quick, Scheme-Free!
If this article added value to your life, please share it with others. I'd greatly appreciate it! And remember, you're not alone, you are loved, and whatever you do, believe in yourself! See you next week!
Serving with Gratitude,
Jeff Teresi
